All that brings me joy, I can never have. But those that see (and treat) me as a toy? They dwell around me. It's as if everything I love are Forbidden Fruits. And everything a loathe, lays itself infront of me. Am I to take them into my life? Why should I make myself miserable? Am I meant to lead my life solitarily? A sea of people? But just specks of sincerity. Just specks of sensitivity, compassion. I am not trash. I do not enjoy being pushed aside.

I have very little. I had hope. God, I live on it. But those I worked so hard to keep, you tear them away from me. I always felt happy to see you happy. I always ended up alone. But, as I said, I had hope. I hoped one day your eyes would see what I needed. I thought you'd realise what's what. But no. Outshine me. Downplay me. Made me insignificant. And you still do. I compremised myself, but I didn't need to. I didn't have to, you're nobody to me, I don't owe you anything, I could have easily have it all for myself. I should have played dirty. For some stupid reason, I decided, no.

Good deed? Maybe, but not to me.I never expected anything in return, all I wanted was care. Genuine care. However even such a simple thing is now a Forbidden Fruit. My world's small, and I'll do my best to develop things into better. But if I'm always to be insignificant to you, all I can say is, I'm so sorry for you. Today, it's just lil ol'Farie, tomorrow I'm gone. And not everyone is alike me. I'm not brutal, but the darn world is. Being aware & appreciative work alongside. That's why I feel sorry for you. I simply can't comprehend the reasons for these tears.

Good night.

PS. Sorry, no videos today. I feel a lil fever building up.